Gaining Perspective

Shortly before break, I was deep in preparations for the state individual speech contest. I was also auditioning students for a spring play and preparing for the most epic Roaring Twenties prom of all time. It is typical for me to spend 12-16 hours a day at school during the spring semester, when all my extracurriculars converge, and one season bleeds right into the next. While it is happening, I convince myself I love it. I convince myself I thrive under pressure and that I am not nearly as busy as people think. What a thrill to know my classroom has a revolving door creative students enter to thrive! What an amazing opportunity to get to be a part of so many incredible projects and watch so many incredible kids grow in their talents, their leadership skills, their confidence, and their sense of self! There is some vanity there too - I like smugly to brag that I balance numerous activities at once.





But something happened right before spring break that stopped me in my tracks and left me to reconsider my hectic schedule. It was the week before the state speech contest that never happened when a student posed a question that has returned to my mind again and again over these past few weeks at home. As she finished up her practice, my last practice of the night, I packed up my bag to head to my Wednesday night church youth group. “Mrs. Vernon,” she said, “You are the busiest person I know and you never seem to let it get to you but what are you trying to avoid by staying so busy all the time?” I laughed it off and assured her I wasn’t trying to avoid anything - I just love what I do.





Two days later, we learned our speech contest was cancelled, and, as we began what was supposed to be spring break, it became increasingly clear that the end of that break was a moving target. It was not long before my mind returned to that young performer’s question, “...what are you trying to avoid by staying so busy all the time?” Well, I thought, I guess we are about to find out. I am not going to lie - I was worried about what answer I might uncover, but, rather than uncover what I had been trying to avoid, I discovered what I had been missing. What follows is a list of things I have rediscovered under self-imposed quarantine with my husband and three of my kids:





Taking walks - I never have time to take walks during the spring semester, unless they are walks from my classroom to the stage. It feels great to exercise daily.


The sun - Apparently the sun shines during those hours I am in my classroom or on the stage and I have been missing it, entirely.


My husband - Turns out, this guy I usually only have time for in June and July is actually pretty fun to be around.


My college freshman daughter - She is not happy to be online learning fashion design from home, but I am incredibly grateful to have this extra time with her in the years before she fully springs forth on her own adventure.


My high schooler son - This kid is the busiest person I know (busier than me). He loves people, he loves performing, he loves being active. This whole thing is incredibly difficult for him but, for once, I get to see his face and listen to his voice telling me something other than “see you later.”


My middle schooler - No kid in my family is more neglected than this one. She never complains about the hours I spend with other people’s teenagers, but I am starting to get the feeling that she was missing time with her mom.


Creativity - Ok, I had lots of this at school too, but I have been amazed at the displays of creativity I have seen from everyone all over the world. From online concerts to online Broadway musicals the famously creative are responding to a need for art, but here at home people are growing wildly creative as well. My kids take dance class and piano lessons online now. I am writing an elaborate mystery play for my girl scouts to perform from their own homes and solve in movie form. My teacher colleagues have found fun and engaging ways to keep kids thinking and learning in different ways than the traditional classroom allows. A friend of mine who teaches in another district arranged a play reading activity for a small group of local teens who are friends with her niece. Listening to my son read The Importance of Being Earnest with her from his bedroom is one of my favorite confinement moments to date. Even the small town library in my school district has found incredibly creative ways to keep people connected and reading.


Connection - I have had time to call my mom every day. I have connected with my adult daughters every day. I have texted back and forth with my best friend every day. You might take these things for granted, but I do not have time to do these things every day during the spring semester. Ever. In addition, I have watched my kids connect differently. My son’s friends have dropped off baked goods in our mailbox and he has dropped off novels in their mailboxes. My kids are sharing quarantine stories with their friends in Spain, Japan, and Puerto Rico. In some ways, connections are strengthening during what so many thought would be a lonely time of isolation.


Decent meals - From January to June my family is lucky to have a home cooked meal together twice a week, and even then the meal is usually something thrown together quickly by an exhausted teacher mom who grumbles through the whole process. This spring, my family is eating together every night and the food is fresh, delicious, and made without my exhausted, resentful rage.


Reading - There was a time when I believed being an English teacher would allow me to read a lot. Turns out, it allows me to read a lot of essays (which I do love), and the same novels year after year as I try to keep up with the same reading schedules I assign my students. In week one of confinement I finished The Goldfinch just because I wanted to. In week two I am reading a mystery novel, JUST FOR FUN.


The joy of teaching - Five of my seven classes each day are concurrent enrollment classes. That means I am still teaching online for several hours a day right now so kids can earn their college credit. During this time at home, I have been able to think hard about what is most important in their learning and, with little else to distract me, I have been able to provide engaging lessons and immediate personal feedback to every child. Of course, I would rather teach in my classroom and see their faces every day, but this experience has forced me to to focus on what matters most, and I think my students will learn better because of it.





My list could go on, but you get the idea - I wasn’t avoiding anything, but apparently I have been missing a great deal. Don’t misunderstand - I will be excited to get back to my students. I hope we can have a spring play. I hope this Roaring Twenties prom is only made more epic for our isolated spring. I won’t pretend I will suddenly change my entire life because of what I have learned during quarantine. I won’t magically become someone who manages a perfect work-home balance. Frankly the life of a high school teacher doesn’t lend itself to that easily. Maybe, though, I will approach my time both at school and at home with a little greater appreciation. Until then I will take a breath, look for the silver linings, and maybe shoot my student a message to let her know I have an answer to her question - finally.

Remembering What Matters: Education in the Age of Pandemic

I am a teacher. It isn't just my job; it is who I am. I have watched other teachers post their musings on our current reality readily and often, but I have resisted, not wanting to put down on paper anything I worried might make things real, might make things raw, might make things hurt more than I want to bear. See, I know that I have only two settings: calm and total collapse and I worried in writing down my feelings I would resort to total collapse. I can't do that because, though I am a teacher, I am a mom even more and I have three teenagers at home who need calm. Besides, there are others who have it so much worse than me that I can't even entertain the thought of feeling too sorry for myself - not when there are nurses, doctors, and other healthcare workers literally risking their lives, not when there are grocery store employees working long hours and subjecting themselves to so many germs, not when there are truckers, sanitation workers, and mail carriers still showing up to work every day, not when there are people worrying how they will feed their families because they cannot work, not when there are people dying.  I am sitting home. I am healthy. I am teaching from behind a computer screen. I don't get to cry. Anyway, I am not a crier.  I don't cry. I don't cry...except I do. At least today I did.

Today I watched from my front yard as the elementary school teachers from my neighborhood paraded through the streets in their cars while children stood on the corners screaming and laughing and holding up signs professing their love for the teachers they missed. They screamed for them as if they were celebrities and the teachers honked their horns and waved wildly out of car windows. That was my moment. That was the moment the wall collapsed and I was left to realize the magnitude of this job, the magnitude of this loss, and the depth of my sorrow. I ran upstairs, locked myself in my room and just cried while my husband comforted me.

I cried because it was beautiful, but also because the love in the air was so thick you could almost touch it and it reminded me why I love this job so much that I claim it as a part of my identity. So much has gotten lost over the years in a push to hold schools accountable for every child's success. So much has been introduced to quantify and standardize what we do, to slap a "one size fits all" sticker on education and legislate, mandate, and collaborate our way "to the top" (whatever that means). Frankly all of that has burdened and exhausted me in recent years and I had begun to worry that "education" had moved on from teachers like me, who lead with our hearts and know what kids have learned just "because we know." I worried that my unwillingness to sacrifice my idealism at the altar of data made me an irrelevant vestige from another time "before we knew better," and that my insistence that building human beings was more important than building skills was something that would not allow me to long survive.

But I think what this epidemic has taught us about education is everything I knew all along. Your child will still be ok if he doesn't grow a year in reading comprehension. Your child will be ok if he doesn't practice math for 30 minutes a night. Your child will be ok if his research paper has three sources instead of ten because he is writing it in the middle of a global pandemic. But your children do need school. They need it for the reasons those little children on the street corner screaming with glee were celebrating. They need it for what it teaches them about community, about connection, about trying hard and thinking deeply, about creativity, about laughing with friends, about loving and being loved. What school gives them is a sense of purpose, a sense of place, and sense of their own value.

Don't misunderstand. I want kids to learn, to grow, and to meet and exceed the standards the government has set for them, but that isn't my primary purpose for teaching. My primary purpose for teaching is the speech kids who enthusiastically performed at a make-shift state contest when their scheduled contest was cancelled before we were really social distancing,  the young women who begged me for book recommendations on day four of social distancing, the young man who emailed me an idea for his research paper with great excitement on day five of social distancing, the teams of teachers who poured their hearts into building creative lists of optional learning opportunities for kids, the seven adult men who called me from their individual man caves this week because they were so bored in isolation they longed to speak to their classmates from twenty years ago and invite their old teachers to join. My purpose for teaching is human beings.

This pandemic has forced us to peek behind the curtain of our schools and realize the elements of daily education we truly value. Turns out it was the very things this seasoned teacher thought mattered most all along. And so I watched the teachers waving wildly and the children jumping for joy at the sight of them and I cried like a baby, because I remembered how much I love the teenagers I teach, how much I depend on their smiles, their ideas, their "good mornings" to get me through my days and most of all, how very much I miss them.

Teachers Matter

Let me be perfectly clear, I love what I do. I am a teacher. It is not just a job; it is not just what I do. It is who I am. Every day I am humbled to be entrusted with the care of Iowa’s most important resources. I take that responsibility very seriously, and believe passionately in the power a caring teacher has to change lives. Do not mistake my defense of my profession for a lack of gratitude for the opportunities I have been given. I love my students, I love my district, and I am happy to go to work each day. I have never been one who feels the need to tell the world how hard we work, never shared a single post about how summers off are a myth, never complained about spending my own money on school supplies, never shared that silly meme about counting down the days to vacation. I love what I do with such intensity that my attitude is typically one of almost annoying enthusiasm and joy. That will never change.

But today, for the first time, I am worried. Today, for the first time, I feel the need to put up my defenses. Here in Iowa, a bill has been presented to severely limit teachers’ ability to collectively bargain. The presumption seems to be that teachers are milking the system by bargaining for such outlandish perks as quality healthcare, a personal day or two, and a 25 minute duty-free lunch.

In a nation that promotes online virtual schools as equal alternatives to public education, and wields anti-teacher memes like swords across social media, there seems to be a severe lack of understanding of the humanity of teachers and the role these dedicated professionals play in shaping the lives of children.  I cannot make anyone truly understand how important what we do is. I can only tell you that we are not exaggerating when we say we save lives, we shape futures, we give hope to the hopeless, and voice to the voiceless. We build thinkers, and innovators. The world is changed by how we do our jobs.  Eliminating our ability to bargain and to be protected by contracts, makes our most experienced and highly educated teachers vulnerable to losing their jobs as a money saving measure for struggling school districts. It makes teaching less appealing to the best and brightest our governor once insisted he wanted to attract to the profession. It makes our schools weaker and our students will suffer for it.

Each time a tragedy occurs in a school, teachers are held up as heroes and for a few moments the nation marvels at the selfless dedication of its teachers. Then they forget and they move on. We do not forget, however. We were in our classrooms when the tragedy occurred at Columbine and we came to school the next day, and the day after that, and the day after that. We cried with Sandy Hook, and we came to school the next day, and the day after that, and the day after that. We never stop coming because our love is so much bigger than our fear, or our exhaustion, or our frustration, or even our need to be treated with respect. But do not minimize what we do and do not treat us as if we are irrelevant and easily replaceable. Your children know our worth. Ask them.

Protect the Work We Have Done

In recent days the possible confirmation of Betsy Devos as Secretary of Education has been a hot topic on social media. While I pride myself on remaining publicly quiet on politics in the interest of encouraging free thought among my students, I am never quiet on matters of educational importance. With that in mind, I feel the need to share some thoughts today. Originally, I started writing about Arne Duncan and Betsy Devos, hope that didn’t materialize and the monster it created. That post turned into a pages long rant no one would ever read. Instead, I want to focus on just one argument I have seen popping up among comments over the past few days – the argument that education in America has never been so bad.

This comment makes me sad. It makes me sad partly because it is founded on memes, social media posts, and a general disrespect for the teaching profession. Primarily though, it makes me sad because it just isn’t true.  I could spend pages attempting to dispel every myth out there but I won’t. Instead, I want to talk about what is going right in education today. In doing so, I hope I can shed light on why we, as teachers, are so fearful of handing the keys to someone who seems so bent on a complete reboot of the system. You see, we know there are educational reforms that need to happen. We also know there are some great things happening in education we do not want anyone to undo.

·      Teachers today have a far greater sense of why they are teaching what they are teaching to students. Every day children in the classrooms I visit and in the classrooms my children visit, inform students not only of what they will be learning, but why they will be learning it. As a student, I wanted nothing more than to understand where my learning would benefit me in the future. Today’s students don’t have to guess. They know.

·      Teachers today are working hard to innovate and help students to innovate. Contrary to popular belief, the Common Core many decry actually encourages, pushes, and forces creative and innovative thinking. The literacy standards are filled with analytical thinking requirements. The science standards push students to think creatively. Social studies departments are intent on helping student see the connections between history and current events rather than embracing the memorization model of the past. Above all, the Common Core math many social media posts have criticized and demonized is designed to encourage divergent and creative thinking by honoring multiple paths to solutions.

·      Innovation is tied to practical application. Yesterday my 7^th grader read me the business plan he and a partner had thoughtfully constructed for his social studies class. The assignment required creative thinking, math, and writing skills in a very real world application of learning. This is just one example of many but it seems a little more valuable than the maps I colored in the 80’s or the five years of learning I did about the Fertile Crescent.

·      Speaking of the Fertile Crescent, education today is guided by such clear standards that the days of teachers teaching students the same material again and again are over. Repetition happens when it is useful but no child should have to build a solar system three years in a row and history classes should eventually make it out of Mesopotamia.

·      Every student matters. With a renewed understanding that every child is every teacher’s responsibility, teachers work hard to meet the educational and social-emotional needs of children so they can all be successful. Educating a mind isn’t enough. The complete human being is our mission. There is much work to be done in this area. Not every school consistently meets the needs of students of all cultures and socio-economic groups but we have a system in place to help us track that. We are paying attention and we are working on it. That is progress.

I admit there are plenty of weaknesses in education today. Above all, our government mandated testing systems do a poor job of measuring the actual work the Common Core encourages us to accomplish. Reforms are necessary, but we cannot advocate for throwing the baby out with the bath water. Many good things are happening in education despite what the meme pushers want you to believe. Many great teachers are working hard to meet the needs of every child. Many positive changes are occurring. It is ok to admit that the last administration didn’t get it perfect with regards to education, but when I don’t like my doctor I certainly don’t go out and hire an entrepreneur because I need a change and “she can get things done.” I find a new doctor. I will be very honest with you. Teaching is more specialized than you realize. What we do is difficult for any outsider to understand. We need a leader that understands and can help us maintain the positive work we are doing, while reforming the pieces that are broken. While I do not fear alternatives, ideas from the outside, or challenges to the status quo, I fear being led by someone who does not understand what teachers do and why we do it. I fear being led by someone who may buy into the social media fueled frenzy that says US education is in a shambles. I fear being led by a businesswoman who may not understand that schools are not businesses.

Just Chill

In a single 24 hour period I read a Facebook post from a guilt-ridden mom who implored parents to pay more attention to their children, and one from a teacher who begged parents to stop spoiling their children. I read a rant about how under-involved parents are in their children’s education and one about helicopter parents and their intense over-involvement. Honestly, if I didn’t have 23 years of non-stop parenting experience under my belt, I would be confused, overwhelmed, and crying in the corner.

Here’s the truth as I hope you will hear it parents. Here are the rules:

Rule #1: Love your children with every bit of yourself and make sure they know it.

Rule #2: There are no other rules.  They are your children for a reason. Share with them the best you have to give.

Maybe you are a Pinterest mom who glues smiley faces on tiny oranges for lunch. That is super fun. Be that.

Maybe you are a store bought cookies kind of mom because you just went back to college to show your daughter how to follow her dreams. That takes determination. Be that.

Maybe birthday parties stress you out so your kids get big hugs and a birthday cake over family dinner.  Own that and do it.

Maybe you are obsessed with themed birthdays and you love nothing more than donning costumes and writing elaborate scripts for birthday parties with themed decorations and treats. Don’t be ashamed of that. Just have fun and do it.

Maybe you and your child have a homework routine and you know that is what is best for him. Awesome.

Maybe you just don’t have time to help your kid go through the dreaded spelling packet. He is going to be just fine.

Maybe you love watching soccer games on Saturdays.

Maybe you can’t spend another minute in a lawn chair wondering if today was your snack day.

Maybe your house is spotless because that’s how you show love.

Maybe your house is a mess because you are busy reading stories to three kids and a cat.

Maybe your toddler can ask for more milk using sign language.

Maybe your kid is the one screaming for a ring pop using words no one has heard before.

Maybe you drive your child to school in a spotless minivan and send them off with a kiss and a blessing.

Maybe you make them ride the school bus because it builds character.

Maybe you work fulltime outside the home.

Maybe you work fulltime inside the home as a mom.

The thing is, YOU are your kid’s mom. You should parent like you and stop worrying if you are doing it wrong. Use the talents, interests, values, and beliefs you have and don’t listen to what anyone else tells you is right. There are interesting thinking points to consider in every parenting post. They all provide insight to some mom somewhere, but the message I want moms to hear is to relax and love your kids with everything you’ve got to give and they will be ok.

Be soccer mom, dance mom, schedule master mom, or “I forgot another birthday party” mom. Be craft mom, or game mom, or snack mom. Be fast food mom, or organic mom, prayer mom, or hippie mom. Be first aid kit mom or “no blood, no bone, no problem” mom. Just be YOUR KID’S MOM and be that to the very best of YOUR ability in the very best way YOU know how.

Teacher Spouses

As I pulled into the parking space, my husband tapped my window, “Pick a gas pump and I will fill it up before we go,” he announced and flashed me a smile. It was 6:30 on this July evening and I am sure he desperately wanted to loosen his tie and roll up his sleeves, but there he stood, ready to pump my gas before hopping in and driving me to our destination forty minutes away. We were not heading to the movies or a romantic dinner - this wasn’t a typical date night – this was a “teacher date night.” My husband has gone on hundreds of these teacher dates with me and he knows what they entail but there he stood, pumping my gas with a smile on his face after a ten-hour workday.

I have written and spoken often about how ill-prepared new teachers are for the realities of the classroom, how colleges prepare young educators to deliver material without teaching them anything about the humanity of their position. If that is true, then it is equally true that no one prepares anyone to be a teacher’s spouse. It is a unique role and it is not for the faint of heart.  My husband explains it well, “It is your job to support kids and it is my job to listen and support you so you can support kids. That’s how I can make a difference.” I have to admit, he may have learned a little from watching his mother, a pastor’s wife, growing up. I also have to admit that I am very blessed to have a husband who believes as fully as I do that teaching is not a job but a vocation.

On this particular night we were heading to a funeral home. The grandfather of a treasured student had passed away and I felt compelled to pay my respects to the young man and his family. I don’t know if it mattered in any way that I was there, but I determined that it was never the wrong decision to shake a hand, give a hug, and say, “I am sorry for your loss.” My husband has voyaged to funerals and visitations with me many times over the years. Sometimes it is to console a student who has lost a parent; he introduces himself as my husband, shakes the child’s hand and stands with his hand on my shoulder as I chat and attempt to gauge what the student may need from me when she returns to school. Far too often these trips have been to say goodbye to students themselves. On those occasions, he holds my hand tightly as I try respectfully not to outcry grieving mothers, fathers, and friends as I mourn the loss of a child. Thankfully, it has been a long time since we have attended one of those funerals.

This “teacher husband” job is not always such a sad one, though. Sometimes it involves sitting in a school gym cheering for a volleyball team, or in the stands on a chilly football Friday night, or on a wooden bleacher on a hot summer Saturday. On those occasions, he asks me to name the children for him so he knows what to shout in his cheers, and he mutters questions like, “Is this the one who wrote that poem you loved?” or “Is that the one who wants to be an architect?” He doesn’t mind these jobs so much. In fact, sometimes when we have missed a sport that season, he reminds me that next year we cannot get so busy that we don’t watch a single softball game (or soccer, or basketball). He gets it. Caring about what kids do when they are outside of the classroom makes it easier to serve them in the classroom. He sits in auditoriums too, and has even been known to drive to a dance competition or two, arriving just in time to see the girls perform and exiting rapidly afterwards to head to the next event.

Sometimes, I feel like the teacher spouse gig involves more logistics and transportation than it should – like I get to do the fun stuff while he makes the maps and drives the van – but he never complains. My husband could put Fed Ex and UPS to shame with his skills at scheduling the perfect route to ensure we get to every  graduation open house with time to chat with every child and congratulate every parent. It is not a small task when you teach in a district that is spread out over five communities. He methodically stacks the graduation invitations for each day in the best possible order, occasionally asking me questions, “Is there one you know you want to stay at a little longer than the others? Is there one where you know you want to eat a complete meal?” before preparing a map with numbered stops.

Then we hit the ground running and he smiles and shakes hands and utters congratulations to children he has never met and thanks mothers for delicious treats, and asks fathers questions about land or tractors or cars, or sometimes just sits quietly and watches while I do what I do, or more often runs around hunting for the son we invariably lose at these things.

Being a teacher is important to me. I am a teacher 100% of the time and not just 8:00-4:00, August – May. That is something teacher prep programs don’t make perfectly clear. It was something I am sure my young groom could never have foreseen when he walked down that aisle. But it matters. That he believes in the work I do enough to share in it is the most powerful act of love. I know that my teacher spouse is not the only one out there quietly supporting the youth of today. I see other husbands filling their plates at graduation parties and chatting with proud fathers. I see other wives cheering with enthusiasm from bleachers and shaking the hands of young actors after play performances and concerts. And I know that they, like my husband, are also there at home entertaining their own children on nights when papers need graded, making dinner (or in my husband’s case taking the kids out to eat) when a practice, rehearsal or meeting has kept their teachers at school far too late, paying the bill when too many books or posters were purchased off of Amazon, and offering encouragement when their teachers are desperately worried about that one hurting child, or their AP test scores, or the little one who isn’t learning to read as fast as the others, or the speech performer who can’t seem to make it to practice.

We all know the grief teachers get. Indeed, the internet is ripe with memes, blog posts, and articles attempting to explain and justify the work we do, attempting to make it clear to the public how much we care and how hard we work. But there is this quiet group behind the scenes who go unnoticed and in their own way these teacher spouses are making a powerful difference.