I keep reading posts proclaiming this generation of young people to be a generation of entitlement. As I dig further into these pieces, I learn that mothers who plan great birthday parties, glue googly eyes to gift bags, and play with their children bear the primary responsibility for creating this generation of pompous youth.  As a high school teacher and mother of five members of this generation, I would like to challenge this seemingly popular interpretation of society.

            Never in my twenty years as a teacher have I encountered a generation with more altruistic, empathetic, and compassionate young people in it.  When I talk to my students about their future plans, they speak almost without fail about whom they want to help and how their careers will allow them to do so. They tell me stories about mission trips where they were forever changed, homeless people they have served in area soup kitchens and gotten to know, protests for social justice they have felt compelled to participate in, and prayers they say for others every day and night.  They are planning their futures around the idea that they play a role in improving the world in which they live.

            I do understand where some of the misunderstanding of kids and parenting today comes from.  We all know those parents who have been planning their children’s college application since preschool. We know those schools where recess creative play is pre-empted for anti-obesity training on a regular basis and we have definitely sat next to at least one parent at a sporting event who has her son’s camp schedule organized so that he will be sure to make the NFL draft by the time he is 20. Of course there are extremes out there; that is true with anything. But before we start shaking our fists at the glue-gun wielding mom at the elementary school party or blaming that Pinterest-inspired valentine for the downfall of society can we take a minute to consider what those parents are modeling for their children? I would argue the messages children learn are not about self-centeredness as much as they are about self-giving. I confess that I have thrown my children some over the top birthday parties, led four Girl Scout troops, played elaborate games of pretend, built American Ninja Warrior courses in my backyard, and yes – glued googly eyes to any number of objects – in fact a jar of googly eyes was our table centerpiece for several months last fall. But my children are well-adjusted and giving people. Here is what I and all the glitter sparkling parents out there are teaching this generation:

• ·       Parenting if fun.
• ·      Parenting is a job worthy of lots of time, lots of focus, and lots of creativity.
• ·      Imagination doesn’t go away just because you grow up.
• ·      They are worth my time.
• ·      They are worth my creativity.
• ·      They are loved more than anything else by someone.
• ·      When you love someone, you give to them even if that means you are a cruise director to make them smile, even if it means you learn to do something you don’t like to do, even if it means you sacrifice some small part of yourself to do it.

      See, I don’t think these are such bad lessons for children to learn and I don’t think a child develops a sense of entitlement by having selfless love modeled for him. On the contrary, I think sometimes children who have parents who go to great lengths for them learn to go to great lengths for others. I think children see how their parents love them and then want to go out and love the world with that much passion and that much enthusiasm.

            That brings me back to my students and to the real issue that is sparking these conversations and concerns all over the internet. See, kids today are actually different. Those who have been loved by these parents whose over-involvement we so criticize have learned a few things that make people uncomfortable.

They have learned that they are valuable just as they are. They have learned they should not let anyone dim their lights because their lights make them special. Boy does that make compliance a challenge sometimes.

They have learned that every day is an adventure with the potential for fun.  If we could harness that as teachers instead of squelching it, what power we would have!

They have learned that they are important enough to ask questions. No! We simply cannot have a child asking why he needs to learn about misplaced modifiers or algebraic equations! We might have to figure out the answers.

They have learned that they are entitled – yes entitled – to LOVE and RESPECT. Apparently this means we have to be nice to all of them!

Here is the thing: we don’t all have to shake our glitter bottles to be good parents. But we do have to stop criticizing those parents who do and not only that but we may have to start appreciating the sparkly and enthusiastic generation they are preparing for the world.